Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house...
Anticipation for chaos and disappointment descended and filled each room. The traditions of the past and the need to please, weighed heavily on her head. Every year the mad dash to decorate, buy the perfect gift and fill the stockings with special items would crash on Suzy's heart. The circular thoughts of "will they like it, did I get enough, will they feel loved? swirled till she was overwhelmed with dread. And every year she would make the same promise to herself that she would simplify and just enjoy the process. Could and would this year be any different? Suzy had her doubts. She tried to pray and hand it over to the Lord. Praying "Lord I want to celebrate this year in a new way. " Then would come the insidious whispers "what about little Timmys' gift? you forgot the eggnog and you know Kelly hates bagels and lox for breakfast; you messed up again." finally exhausted and defeated, Suzy would usually give in and just settle for another disappointing year. But this time a glimmer arose in her spirit, a twinkle of hope that this year indeed could be different. She did not know how it could be. Then with wonder the Holy spirit invited her into letting go of people pleasing. Could she learn to be fully present this season? Present to her emotions but not ruled by them. Present to others but not responsible for their responses? Could she find internal acceptance of her short comings and be filled with the Lords full acceptance? Was it even possible she asked herself and finally knew by the power of Christs love all things were possible. Instead of ruminating and looking inward Suzy defiantly turned up the worship music, quieted herself and postured her heart towards her savior. She was learning to sit, be still and receive from him who was the true gift. And as breath after breath became deeper, inhaling the Lord's presence and exhaling the worry, a peace that passes all understanding descended. As Suzy fell asleep that night before Christmas visions of joy and love filled her head.
Very inspiring! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete