What I’m thankful for in this dog gone crazy season

 

What I’m thankful for in this dog gone crazy season

As my time of dripping IV antibiotics every 6 hours for 6 weeks, draws to a close, I am given to pause and contemplate what I have learned and am thankful for in this season.

I have learned to be more appreciative of Allopathic medicine. These past few years has been an eye opener of how broken our medical systems are and how big pharma has emphasized pharmaceuticals and sickness instead of coordinating care in conjunction with the God designed ability of the body to heal as well as wellness via what we put into our bodies. My studies have brought great information but also cynicism and mistrust. This incident of the dog bite and subsequent bone infection has realigned my heart to see the need for all. I am thankful for my general practitioner who moved mountains to make sure the infected finger got addressed by the specialist. I am thankful for Lancaster Orthopedic Group, whose offices (I visited all 3), where filled with smiling, happy staff and a great doctor. I am thankful for, as much as I do not want to admit, pharmaceutical medicine that helped fight the infection. I am thankful for Ephrata Hospital that is still small enough to be personal as well as the caring and loving staff. I am thankful for a fellow OT who knows fingers. I am grateful for my weekly nurse visits to change the dressing. This has been a time of meeting new people and getting to enjoy them. I had so many lovely nurses, I'm humbled by their kindness.

I have increased my understanding that family is important and that it is a microcosm of what community can look like. I am thankful for my husband who has been understanding and attentive. He has stepped up to the plate and dealt with my many moods and exhausted crying session’s. Patiently helping me shower and eating lots of taco fest burritos without complaint. I am so grateful to my adult children who have offered me time, resources and encouragement. I’m filled with gratitude as I think about how they purchased hair washes at my hairdresser. (showering with a PICC line is a whole other topic!) I am thankful for bone broth that one child would make and religiously bring to me to help my gut from all the antibiotics. I am thankful for another kiddo, along with his wife, who would come over and help cook and clean 1 night a week or just cut up my cantaloupe. (The infected pinky made chopping difficult). I am thankful for the child who when the nurse showed up at the house and explained all the details on how to set up my Drips, took copious notes, and talked me off the ledge that first night.  I am thankful for another for regular check in calls and grandbaby chats.

I am thankful for siblings. I am learning that if we can truly appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses we can function as a whole so much better. This season has also been challenging as we have been walking beside our mother as she journeys through Cancer. The ability to text and blow off steam and vent to each other has been a gift. The battle still rages for mom and as a family we are learning to weather it with humor, grace and mercy for one another. I’ve also learned that though inconvenient and not conducive to sleep this PICC line situation is not anything even closely Related to the suffering that cancer patients endure. 

I have learned to better appreciate the friends I have. For walks and talks, for prayers, for texts and just again check ins to help me feel seen during this crazy time. OH, and the flowers.  I am thankful for my many nurse friends who held to the “suck it up butter cup” attitude, it took a while, but I finally understood why they were like” yeah, the scheduled midnight runs of IV drip and 4 times a day sucks, but have you considered the alternative”. Their reality checks helped me to reprioritize.

And although social media is not always my favorite, I am thankful for the “out There” community that sent well wishes and messages. The comfort to sometimes just put your stuff out there is not as good as talking with God and or a dear one, but oddly I have grown to appreciate the catharsis it can sometimes bring in sharing your trials.

 

Silly things I learned and am thankful for…again, although I have read much about micro plastics in our food and environments, I am thankful for press and seal saran wrap. It does a mighty job on covering a PICC line way better than any store-bought cast cover thing. I like cute PICC line sleeves.  I learned how to navigate a drip with my IV in most places, except it does not work in a car while driving home from a wedding but if you have an engineer husband, who can figure out how to set it up, so it works in the car in the middle of a chic filet parking lot, that’s another thing. I am thankful for the timers and the flashlight on our phones so that in the middle of the night, I can see if the IV has finished and be awoken in case I do fall asleep in the middle of it so I can disconnect. I am thankful I am not a young mom again, at almost 60 this middle of the night feedings aka drips really disrupt my sleep and ability to focus.

I am thankful for the local church for a soft-landing place. I am learning that though sleeplessness, fatigue and distractions have impacted my ability to focus on the Lord, He has no difficulty focusing and seeing me. I am learning more how to be still, like literally still for 45-60 minutes each drip. It is still a hard lesson on surrendering productivity. Having a non-functioning pinky on my right and a 10-pound lift limit on my pick arm on the left felt so limiting. The “who am I “if I’m not working or functioning as a full-bodied person question made me feel off balance. (and of course lack sleep added to the situation).  I am also thankful for the lessons learned in the past about the Lord's mercy and grace and about having grace for others. I am thankful for life.