connections

Be it age or revelation, I have become more aware of my need to spend time with my extended family. Facebook, texting and phone time are all well and good but let’s face it, face to face moments are to be treasured. It is about making connections and making our short spell on this earth meaningful through relationships. It started this year with the honor of flying to Florida with my sister to mark my dad’s 80th birthday.  Then came lovely visits with my first niece including her driving out two times in the past 3 month’s one of which was “just because”. Yesterday was spent driving to New Jersey to have the opportunity to visit with a cousin from Arizona. The day was filled with an added bonus as I got to share a meal with my step mom, dad, sister and niece as well. I am feeling reflective as I think about my nephew and his gal making plans to move to Arizona. His Impromptu and planned visits to us throughout his four years at University of Delaware have been especially warming and will be sorely missed. Time does not stand still and our windows of opportunity are not predictable. I am guilty of neglecting family connections and placing them on the back burners especially those outside my immediate sphere. Missed opportunities like seeing my other niece get married are places of regret that I hope to visit less often as I try to spend my time connecting more often.

Chase the light

“Chase the light”  

 Grabbing after things that elude and melt away.

Chase the light,

Light makes all things clear.

Busy building temples, and images that fade.

Chase the light,

Light is eternal, the stars and sun, firmly in place.

Night encroaching, sitting in the dark, lost and lonely.

Chase the light,

Light speaks truth where lies would dwell.

Eyes grow dull and accustomed to the night, not really seeing.

Chase the light,

Light overcomes the shadows, illuminating all.

Where is the light?

Has not the source deposited it in the hearts of men through Faith in Him.

Light shines, eyes drawn to its brightness.

Better is it to stay put in the dark or to chance and follow the light?

Chase the light

Light gives warmth, the source of life to all things living.

John 1:4- 5 “In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome^[a] it.” 

John 3:19-20 “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.²⁰ Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. ²¹ But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight

John 8:12 “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

The phrase "Chase the light" was borrowed from some Ladies from” IF Equip” in reference to 2 Peter 1:16-22.

Beautiful Body

Beautiful Body

Toes that wiggle curl and straighten providing balance,

Feet that pound the pavement thrusting into motion,

Legs that bend and straighten carrying the weight,

Loins that give birth and life,

Torso, holding vital parts with care,

Arms and hands, reaching and touching,

Bones firmly give foundation,

Lips and mouth, smiling, speaking hope,

Eye's seeing need all around

Ear's listening for direction

Head, over all, originator of movement and director of the body,

When in harmony so beautiful “Poetry in motion”.

Whose child is this?

Whose child is this?

I have of late looked at my eldest child and have had thoughts of whose child is this. Where did this brilliant young man come from?  He takes on the challenge where I would shrink back in mediocrity. I am watching him these past few weeks push towards college graduation, writing convocation speeches, finishing up a research project on lead in Berks County, putting together an honors thesis defense and studying for finals as well as preparing for presentations. He is my word smith and lover of poetry but also the one who enjoys math and science. He is at times a foreign language to me, he actually likes to learn, has an innate curiosity and likes the idea of being in academia someday! If I boast here, it is in my amazement that despite his mother saying pick the less stressful path over and over again he has gotten into the University of Pennsylvania’s doctoral program. He is my child that possesses a quiet kind of tenacity not visible and loud but the kind that will stay the course. He is a gentleman to the supreme at times. He is also my silent yet bull headed child and no amount of talking can change his mind. He is also one that has extended much grace to his bumbling parents, forgiving their attempts at getting parenting right with his tender 1^st born heart. He is my heart and I am very proud to call him my son even if he is a nerdy brainiac!

Whirlwind

Whirlwind

Gather, make piles, and gather more. Purchase and make food to fill up coolers. Bow and arrows, fishing waiters, bible, boots and more to be brought. Check gear and place in bins. Pack clothing and check the list. Eat dinner, grab wallets and keys and out the door but wait come back for one last thing. Such is the comings and goings of the men in this house. Frequent are the trips up to the cabin (a four and a half hour drive) and frequent is the whirlwind to get packed and on the way.  Sometimes I come along and add to the fray but more often I am trying to facilitate and hasten the departure so peace can once more reside. This time was no different except that instead of the handful of guys hanging at the cabin there will be approximately 75 men and boys camping out gathering in the name of Jesus. Somewhere out there, there are others gathering and packing and making their own hurly-burly in hopes of finding and awakening to the wild alive hearts they were given. Men experiencing the freedom to move in how they were created, a bit untamed, bold and brave not having to be hemmed in by woman’s definition of manhood. The tumult well worth  it for both the travelers and the ones left at home by my standards. A quiet space and books to be read for me and adventure for them.

Yom HaShoah

Yom HaShoah (A day of remembrance of the holocaust)

 4/15/2015 was a day to remember the holocaust. I do not have first-hand knowledge of relatives who were directly affected but it is something that should impact us all.

Genocide noun

1. The deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular ethnic group or nation.

 Armenia, Rwanda, Bosnia, and Eastern Europe; so many times have people risen against another group in a mob mentality with the intent to annihilate. It is horrifying yet how does that happen. How do we, a fairly civilized society, turn so dark and ugly? How did the Germans, the Hutu's and the Bosnian's participate in such atrocities? How does a society allow kids to be sold, girls to be rented? How is ISIS allowed to gather Christians and just murder in cold blood. These are questions that nag. I have read many accounts of brutality and also bravery regarding these issues. How far removed am I  as an American to becoming cold and uncaring? We can say “never again” about the holocaust yet Jews are being marginalized and bullied in Europe and Christians beheaded in the Middle East. It is easy to say that those perpetrating the crimes are not like me. But are they? Do I too have that capability when I rely on man’s definition of who is good enough? The Germans started with deeming the sick, the insane, homosexuals and gypsy’s as inferior and moved on to the Jews, the Polish and many more.  Who gets to define who is worthy or valuable? These are haunting thoughts if we rely on man.  But what  if we allow the One who created us to be the definer of who is valuable. 

1 JOHN 4:19-20 “We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

Tax time

TAX TIME

Tax day is just no fun nor are the days between January 1st and April 15th for many. My Blessed brother is our tax guy now. He has put up with us sending stuff in drips and drabs, e-mailing and calling a thousand times to ask favors and questions, all while trying to finish up his regular paying customers. Over the 25 years of marriage we have had several people help us including my dad, 2 different expensive accountants, and good old Turbo tax but we have invariably ended up calling my brother for advice any way. This year was no different although we thought we had been efficient sending off our info as well as the older children's tax stuff. David  e-filed our federal and PA state taxes only to have us get a late piece of  info, requiring an amended tax submission and many  confused  calls from me  to understand what I was supposed to do. Then more emails were fired off as more misunderstanding about the young adult’s state taxes. Finally all was good, money was sent, and correct forms filled out but then came time for the dreaded local county taxes. The day was put off in hopes of avoiding filling out the 1 page, simple yet bewildering, forms thinking that maybe a rescue from my brother would come through at his busiest, craziest time but alas we were on our own. April 14th we hunkered down and tried to wade through. Almost completed, two out of three envelopes were stamped and addressed when suddenly the sheet of stamps literally disappeared. Searches at ten o’clock at night desperate to have things finished and in the mail 1^st thing on the 15^th came to no avail. Never have we waited until the last moment it felt like at any moment the tax police would be beating down our door.We made the deadline with  our local taxes  post marked 4/15/15, and can  now be counted as  one of "THOSE" last minute people.

Security

Security

The quality or state of being secure: as

a :  freedom from danger :  safety

b :  freedom from fear or anxiety

c :  freedom from the prospect of being laid off <job security>

Security; probably one of my favorite words and feelings. To be ensconced safely at home, to feel secure in my finances, to have sureness that all is well. Unfortunately that is not where freedom is found. To place value in the things that are fleeting is just dumb yet I crave it and have invested large chunks in trying to keep things balanced and secure. My head tells me that I have a big God who is trust worthy, yet my desire to run to safety has many times overridden my yearning to be bold and fruitful.

It is like I am on an island with just enough food and water but I know these will eventually run out. Upriver is a never ending supply of all I need. There is a raft with an oarsman in the river waiting to take me up stream. The knowledge is there but am I willing to step into the river.  The oarsman can read the weather and knows if the island will flood or if a hurricane will hit and is calling me to move out to the places he has already spied out. But the pull to stay put is strong. Again head and heart knowledge so separated at times. True freedom and security happens when I step in.

Davra

Davra

I recently dug up a picture of my late sister Davra and posted it on FB for sibling day.  There were many who posted remembrances of her and I thought I would remember too. Davra was one of identical twins. She was born with Cerebral Palsy which left her quadriplegic. She did not have coordinated movement of her arms or legs and her speech was mostly unintelligible. As the youngest in the family I was born into a family with a handicapped child so this was my normal but for my older brother and Davra’s twin this was probably not the case. Life was chaotic and definitely felt a little different than my neighborhood friends’ lives’.  Floor time play truly meant playing prone on the floor with Davra as she could not hold herself upright. Furniture was moved so the wheel chair could maneuver, the “standing table” took prominence in the den and other equipment had to be moved about. I remember Davra’s helmet with a long pointer and the Language tray on her wheel chair covered in letters and words. She learned how to try to control her head movements so she could communicate however if you really knew her you could read her eyes. She would communicate yes and no with moving her eyes up and down but you could also see beauty, love, laughter, sadness and anger in those eyes. Davra would light up a room and had a bravery about her. My mom did a great job treating her just like the rest of us especially in a time period where many special needs children were institutionalized. She was dumped on a blanket on the front lawn and played outside with the rest of us.  Davra collected people. Most who met her quickly fell in love. We had a nanny/babysitter at one point named Renee who was Jesus ‘love to our family who even named her daughter after Davra. Another person wrote a poem about her and won a national contest. The worst part about her being handicapped to me was having to go door to door with a can to raise money for the Cerebral Palsy Association during the Telethon weeks. A particularly difficult time was when my parents split and Davra had to live away,  but that too became my normal. Visits to her school were very special. She loved to go to the Cantina and have burnt toast and milkshakes.  At one point Davra and I both became typical teens and we would go for walks to get away from the “rents. Not too long after that time period she passed away unexpectedly at the age of 19.


Please Feel free to share any memories you have of her with me.

vessels

                                                                    Psalm 108:3-5

I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;
    I will sing of you among the peoples.
 For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
    your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
    let your glory be over all the earth

Back packs

Phones

Wallets

Coffee Cups

All carry valuable or needed items. They are transporters of what is placed in them whether it be books, phone numbers, money, or Twin Valley Coffee. They are also temporary holders as things are often placed in to only be taken out or used.  When we receive Christ as our Savior we then become his vessels. He gets to place in us his spirit and to the measure that he sees fit. As I read over the above verses the other day I was lead to contemplate the last verse about God’s glory being over all the earth. If Christ in us is the Hope of Glory, If we are the vessels of this light we need to carry with care that which we are given and also be willing to be used at God’s discretion. What will his glory over the earth look like?  Is it when we all proclaim Christ is Lord? As the bearers of his image when we sing his praises among the nations and sing of Him among the peoples are we being vessels to help spread his glory? Conversely when I do not sing his praises, when I am complaining am I then being a leaky container, spilling out the good stuff making it unusable.

To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27

Leaneth Not

Leaneth Not…

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.⁶ In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6.

 Yes of course I comprehend and know this is true. "Jesus' ways are higher...” etc.   Living this out though is challenging, especially when I am often not even able to see my own lack of understanding.  Translating head to heart knowledge is the trial. I can know something but do I really perceive the real essence or truth of what I think I know. I can ascertain that the loss of a phone is not important in the scheme of life.  I can praise God in spirit and know that it is “well with my soul” only to let my mind get sucked into the vortex of fret over submitting insurance claims, affidavits and trying to set up temporary phones. I can recognize that God is good no matter what but do I ginṓskō,( to know, especially through personal experience ) that he is truly good and that I can trust him with all things big and small. The battle ground is in the deepest parts of our hearts and brought forth via getting to know through experience that He is who He says He is and that he is trustworthy through the thick and the thin of life. 

Forgetting to remember

Forgetting to remember.

The stuff we have accumulated will perish and be forgotten. The things that people have created and built during their lives on earth quickly pass from our thoughts. It is our relationships with those who have passed on that linger. We who are here on earth give significance to those who are dead by treasuring their memories.  In the Old Testament the Israelite's would set up altars to try to remember such as when God told Joshua and the Israelite's as they crossed the Jordan “These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever”. They were given the command to remember” what the Lord has done” through the celebration of Passover.  We as Christians also have holidays that ask us to remember, Easter being key in remembering Jesus’ mission in coming to earth. We participate in communion so we can be reminded, the Jewish religion lights candles in remembrance and many other cultures participate in festivals to remember the dead. These external observances are needed because we forget. We forget to remember. But what if I was more closely in fellowship with Jesus, spending time as I would my own children and spouse so that it became almost impossible to delete the memories made. What if spending time with Jesus became more of a priority? Does the remembering become easier because there is now attached more significance? Would the forgetting diminish?

The reluctant princess

The reluctant princess

Once upon a time there was a king who adopted a daughter. She loved the king and would hang out with him often but when the enemy came and attacked, the girl ran to the towers and hid herself there. She could watch from the window all that went on in the kingdom and would sometimes come down and visit but she found comfort in her hideaway and would return to it often. After a while she realized how truly confining the tower was and with help from her sisters and brothers broke down the walls making it impossible to return there. She longed to serve the King and would watch as he would dole out blessings, healing and provisions to his subjects. She would dream about gathering these supplies from the king and helping in dispensing them out in the Kingdom but would then become fearful and retreat to a quieter corner and busy herself with other work. Sometimes she would become so busy that she would lose sight of the king and forget about the others in the kingdom. The gentle king would call her name and beckon her to come stand near him and reminded her that if she stayed close enough to him he would tell her what was needed. Her only command was to stay close enough so she would be ready if he needed someone to wipe a tear, provide a drink or give a word of hope. The princess would do well for a while but would frequently wander off only to find that the king would whisper her name and welcome her back without hesitation.